Once you realize you've found the love of your life, all the details start to seem insignificant. Your journey becomes something transcendent, and day-to-day worries may start to feel trivial. Still, before you commit to them for a lifetime, you might find some benefit in being well-prepared for the new season of marriage.
One way to be ready for the altar is to ask some deep, introspective questions that challenge both of you and grow your bond. Ask these 11 questions before you get to your big day.
1. What's Your Love Language?
If you've never heard of the five languages, it's a framework that allows you to understand your partner's (and your own) preferred way to receive and give love better. Perhaps you find that receiving gifts makes you feel most loved, but your partner doesn't seem to enjoy it as much.
They may like physical affection as a way to feel close to you instead. Knowing each other's preferred way to receive love is an excellent way to preserve the health of your relationship.
2. Are You Planning on Having Children?
This question often comes up in dating, but it's best to be confident that you're on the same page before the wedding day. You may have similar ideas about having kids in general, but it's beneficial to discuss the details of your dreams surrounding having a family.
When do they want to start having kids? Will one of you stay home, or will you hire a caregiver? Find out what your partner thinks to open a discussion about your future together.
3. Will You Prioritize Your Career Over the Relationship?
Money and time management are often sore spots in marriage. You might respect your partner's work ethic and drive during your relationship, but will you feel the same after marriage? Talking about how you'll keep love alive in the midst of budding careers can help you both to align your priorities. Share your expectations to learn how to support your partner in their career while cherishing your marriage.
4. What Are Your Financial Goals?
Money might feel like an awkward topic to bring up, but it's a good idea to swap ideas surrounding this subject. If you plan on sharing finances, you should do your best to understand how the other person wants to spend their money and save it.
How do they plan on interacting with debt? Will they want to invest? Find out their ideas and share your own before your wedding day.
5. How Do You See Us Handling Our Finances Together?
Some people grew up with parents who shared their finances. Others might have seen their parents keep separate bank accounts. Many have separated parents and haven't witnessed two people interacting with money together.
Talk about whether you want to combine assets or remain individual within matrimony. Getting on the same page about money will assist you in smoother sailing when financial stress occurs later.
6. How Much Alone Time Do You Need in a Day?
Perhaps you know that your partner is an extrovert. They're always out and about, connecting with people and captivating others with their charm. You might want to communicate your expectations surrounding alone time.
If you're more introverted, you may feel that you sometimes need a break to do activities alone. Talking about this before you enter into marriage can help you to both understand and support the ways in which you both recharge.
7. What Are Relationship Deal-Breakers for You?
It's no secret that some marriages end in divorce. Often, a stressor or a string of difficulties precedes a separation. Discuss your partner's ideas about divorce and what things might cause them to consider it.
It may help you understand their core values better and know what topics to handle more sensitively. You'll likely want to stay together forever, and this is one question that might help you do that.
9. What Are Your Dreams When You Picture Our Marriage?
What are the scenes that replay in your head when you imagine the joys of marriage? Perhaps your partner pictures you having a quiet routine that doesn't change much each day. You might imagine spontaneity and frequent vacations. Having this discussion can assist you in understanding what your partner looks forward to after the wedding.
10. What Are Your Fears Surrounding Marriage?
Many people have fears that plague them during a relationship. For some, trust issues and past wounds may carry on into your marriage. Talk about the marriage stories that have left unpleasant thoughts in your head and come up with plans for how you'll avoid those pitfalls as a team.
11. What Does Marriage Mean to You?
This may be the most critical question you can each discuss before the wedding day. You know that you want to marry each other, but what does that mean? Discuss what a successful marriage would look like to you and dream up the chapter you'll enter into after saying "I do."
Your Next Steps When You're Ready To Get Engaged
Perhaps you're not yet engaged, but you and your partner have decided that getting engaged and married are the next adventures on your journey. Before the engagement, you may find these steps can help prepare you.
- Communicate Timelines: Share your ideas around the timeframe of your engagement and marriage. As soon as you plan these details, you can brainstorm all the exciting marriage things together.
- Pursue Premarital Counseling: This process can encourage both of you to extend these questions into more meaningful discussions to lay a healthy foundation for your partnership.
Choosing Engagement and Wedding Jewelry
After deciding you want to spend your life with your beloved, it's time to discuss rings. Here are a few of our favorite engagement and wedding ring options to consider before your favorite day.
The Criss-Cross Engagement Ring: This ring is for those who love excitement and elegance. Our Noémie Criss-Cross ring maintains a unique twisting band design that is handset with brilliant pavé diamonds. These twisting segments surround a focal stone to create a romantic symbol of devotion.
The Solitaire Ring: Are you more attracted to straightforward elegance? The Solitaire Band is a style that's endured decades. Ours contains 18-karat gold with a VS clarity and F/G color grade stone. Customize it with your preferred carat size to create a ring that's as captivating as you like.
The Custom Ring Builder: If you enjoy custom jewelry, we have a terrific option for you. Our Noémie custom ring builder allows you to have a unique design experience to create a wedding band that's ultimately personal. Design your band alone or with your partner to dream up elements you adore.
Before you exchange your favorite Noémie rings and cut the cake, asking some important questions is an exercise worth considering. This preparation for marriage should only make you more excited for the day you exchange your vows.
Remember that sharing your dreams, habits, and ideas in conversation can lay a foundation of trust and curiosity that helps your partnership thrive. Years later, you might thank your younger selves for taking the time to invest in your marriage in a meaningful way.
100 Questions To Ask Before Marriage, According To Experts | Women's Health Mag
12 Questions to Ask Your Partner Before Marriage It's important to have these conversations before you | Brides
25 Questions to Ask Before Marriage or Even Before You're Engaged | Oprah Daily